This is more of a personal issue, but I have to get it off my chest and out of my mind. Bentleys biological father Chris, really makes me think. And I mean think hard to the point of tears. We have done our fair share of talking crap about each other but once I had Bentley I just wondered why I was wasting my time. He saw Bentley everyday while we were in the hospital and I wondered if he was actually going to be there like he claimed after he left me. (He stopped checking on Bentley after we seperated.) I saw the look on his face the first time he looked at Bentley and he said Oh my God in this low voice. I mean look at the picture about of the first time he held him And I'm sure Bentley took his breathe away, and knowing Chris he probably had a few tears he doesn't tell anyone about. (You know guys won't admit they cried.) I have given him chance after chance after chance to see Bentley, to spend time with him, but its like he doesn't want too. But I wonder does he want to and somebody is stopping him?!?! I would love to know if that was the case because trust and believe me and this person would have a few words to exchange. Like he says hes tired of kissing my butt, okay. Well I don't want you kissing my butt, you treat me how you want to, all I want is Bentley to know who he is. Is that really too much to ask? IS IT?!?! When the Dr. told me and Chris I was pregnant, Chris told the Dr. he made him the happiest guy in the world. What happened to being happy about Bentley?! On another note, he recently found out his new girlfriend/fiance whatever they like to call each other is pregnant. She got pregnant before Bentley was born. It makes me wonder why Bentley wasn't even in this world and he just wasn't good enough for his father, already?! Why? How do I explain to Bentley that he just wasn't good enough for Chris. My heart dreads the day I have to explain to Bentley the situation or try to at least. Some people would kill to have a baby, and my heart hurts for them. & then theres people that have them and don't care. I wonder if Chris will ever step up and not just one day out of the month. Bentley doesn't need a come and goer. I just wonder what runs through his mind. We use to be able to tell each other everything, now I get nothing, I think Bentley at least deserves answers. He seems so happy around Bentley and he acts like he wants to be there, but what is in the way of it? Like I've told him, when nobody else is there for you, and when it seems like nobody loves you, Bentley does and he'll be there, and if he gave Bentley the chance, he'd know true happiness, and true love that not going to come and go. & that doesn't come from a girl that won't let you have nothing to do with your son and is jealous of him. Actions speak louder than words. Oh well today, I'm washing my hand of him.
On another note, William is great with Bentley and would do anything for him and has proved that, multiple times. Will was there my whole hospital stay, helped with Bentley and it seems great to have him as a Daddy for Bentley. At first I was iffy about calling Will, Daddy to Bentley, but either way, one day Bentley is going to know who was there for him since the day he entered this world. & Thats Been William. William is Bentleys Daddy ♥ any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy. & I thank God for him everyday that he gives me with Will and Bentley. <3
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