Mommys Little Man...

Today has been a long day. Bentley had a shot yesterday at the Dr. and has been fussy all day. We went and saw his Aunt Dana and his cousin Haidyn. Bentleys snoozing now, so I have a little bit of time to blog.

My heart breaks for Bentley, and it hurts so bad. I know he has Down Syndrome. Sometimes I believe it, and sometimes I don't. Its like sometimes it hits me and sometimes I'm just like no way, not Bentley. I have no idea what he will go through in life, but I'll make it as good for him as I possibly can. I'm scared that one day Bentley will get made fun of, which I know with the world being as cruel as it is, it will happen. People just don't take the time to find out who a person is outside of their looks. Bentley is gorgeous inside and out and I know he will stay that way. People really don't know how to act when you tell them your child has Down Syndrome. I had to take him to the emergency 2 weeks ago, and the nurse asks me if he had any medical problems? I told her he has Down Syndrome and she said your lying. I said no, he has Down Syndrome. And she just refused to believe me pretty much. She said your too young, he doesn't look like he has Down Syndrome. It hurt my feelings none the less, to make it seem like I would make up that he has D.S.. Its crazy how one little thing in your childs body can cause so many different things, and hurt them so much both physically and emotionally. I didn't ask for Bentley to be born with Down Syndrome. It was a complete and utter shock to me.

I read where more and more babies are being born with Down Syndrome, but almost 70% of them are terminated when the mother finds out while she is pregnant. I mean really?? How could you abort your own child...period. I look at Bentley and wonder how somebody could not love their own child, how they couldn't want them. I also heard Down Syndrome referred to as a disease. No its not a disease its a Genetic Disorder. Something no one has control over.

I think everything with Bentley has made me get more in touch with my religious side. I've been thinking about going to church, I'm just not sure where. I don't want to have to answer questions. I'm not ashamed of Bentley in any way. He's my pride and joy and has my whole heart and all my love.